yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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