If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
