If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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