I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
