hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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