the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize