I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
