I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize