LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
