Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
