do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
