Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
