He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
