While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
