He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
