Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
