Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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