I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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