and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
