38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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