it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
