Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
