sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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