Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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