She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize