there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
