So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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