The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
