look no pants
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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