he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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