I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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