3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Blood and glitter go together right?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
