Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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