it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
