Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize