she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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