If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
