Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
