I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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