what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize