we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
