Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
