and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
