too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
