Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
