But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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