The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
