READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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