When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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