Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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