my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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