So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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