So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
