There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
