I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
