Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
