a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
