Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
