I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
