quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
