worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
