You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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