I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
