i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
