Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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