between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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