i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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