She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
